Detoxifying the Mysteries

In my last post I appear to have mystified some of you. Frinstance, couple people said they had never heard of Walnettos (boo! hiss!). Here are a couple of pictures of a Walnetto in action and out of action. Picture on the left shows real Walnettos, which were chocolate covered caramels with crushed walnuts. (You can still get 'em. Just go Google.)

The picture on the right is from the old Rowan and Martin Laugh-in Comedy of sometime in the 1960's (maybe 70's?). The fella on the ground is Arte Johnson, who regularly would sidle up to Ruth Buzzi and say, "Want a walnetto?" She then would pummel Arte with her purse.

I hope you all got that straight. There will be a test next week.

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And I stuck some people with my thing-that's-shaped-sorta-like-a-pear-that's-green-inside-but-isn't-avocado. Surely I thought everyone knew that this is guacamole, which I could eat breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Vicki got it right and then wondered if maybe I mean guava jelly. C'mon, Vicki, be a princess. I don't know what guavas is (are?). Guacamole is made of mashed avocado, chopped green onion, chopped jalapeno and chopped tomatoes.

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Miz Mell wanted me to put up a picture of my tomatoes. This is because I challenged her to a tomato-growing contest. She has tomatoes bigger than a dinosaur coprolite. I am still waiting for my first tomato flower. Is it time for me to declare I won this contest? (How was I to know she lived in some damn hothouse?)

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A guy walks into a doctor's office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his ear. The doctor says, "That looks nasty." "Nasty!" replies the man. "This is just the tip of the iceberg."

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My favorite word today is ptarmigan. N., what feeds foxes. Def.: A pkind of pbird.