Is it the right time?
Is anyone watching?
Does your partner even want to?
Is your breath fresh?
Should you use some tongue?
And then you say, "What the heck!" and just go for it.
+ + + + + + + +
A man is lying in bed in a hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind his mask, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know. I'm only here to wash your face and hands." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, I need to know: Are my testicles black?"
The ward nurse passes by and sees the man getting a little distraught so she marches over to inquire what is wrong. "Nurse," he mumbles again, "are my testicles black?"
Being a nurse she is undaunted. She whips back the bedclothes, pulls down his pajama trousers, moves his penis out of the way, has a good look, pulls up the pajamas, replaces the bedclothes and announces, "Nothing is wrong with them!"
At this, the man pulls off his oxygen mask and shouts, "Nurse! Are my test results back!!!?"
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A husband and wife are shopping in their local store when the husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their shopping cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans," he replies.
"Put it back. We can't afford that," demands the wife and so he does and they carry on with the shopping. A few aisles further along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the shopping cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts, "So do 24 cans of Budweiser, and it's half the price."
+ + + + + + + +
My favorite phrase today is wrong number. N., have you got Prince Albert in the can?" Def.: If you dial this, you never get a busy signal and somebody always answers.
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