Get'cher Left/Right Wing On

Larrigo Steelflint rode into the Univ of Virginia Campus with blood on his mind. There was no gettin' around it: Somebody had to die.

He whupped his hoss 'cross the withers to make up time he had lost swimming across the Puddin' Head River. The hoss, Emma Withers by name, figured it was Larrigo's fault for not leavin' camp on time......so, he just kept on amblin', as amblin' horse flesh is sorta bound to do. And so do Ramblin' Rose.

The fella that was to die that day was either Jack McCain or B.H. Obamer. Tell the truth, they both had it comin', bein's both had some high and mighty views, visions, outlooks and perceptions of theyselves.

See, they is runnin' for President of the YewNited States and they bicker a lot. So one of 'em has got to get kilt because I can't stand this argumentative back and forth horsesh_t. (Note how I cleverly covered up that cussword? Nobody ever said Larrigo was ahind the door when the brains was passed out -- or on.)

Casemeier in pernt: Jack thinks rich people need a tax cut. B.H. thinks rich people need a tax increase. I cain't settle this, so one of 'em has got to go. At high noon, providin' the sun is out.

The way we're gonna settle this is just as they did in the old days -- mano a mano, with six-guns and pace-offs and bear meat for the winner. It is now 11:57 a.m., so we got only three minutes to get rid of one of 'em.

So I line 'em up, back to back, tell 'em to take 10 paces forward, then turn and fire in the hole.

Of course you know what happen. They both took 9 steps, turned and gutshot me.

I'll be home soon, Mom. Just let me drain a little more blood on this anthill, and I'll be there witchya.

I often wondered which one of them fellas was the biggest as_shole. But I can't get my brain around it. I think the REAL biggest a__hole is the current President of the YewNited States. He going around saying what he wants for Christmas is a peppermint stick so he can stick it up his _sshole. Oh, and a third term; he wants that, too.

Wish I had a coupla peppermint sticks right now. I'd shove 'em in these bulletholes and keep a few ants from drownin'.

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This looks like you ought to be buying a trinket from Scandinavia, but really all you need to do is click here then sit back and wait.

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My favorite word today is language. N., you could get used to this. Def.: A tranquilizer that leaves no side effects.