Poor Little Johnny

Little Johnny's neighbors had a new baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When the mother brought the baby home from the hospital, Little Johnny's family was invited over to see him.

Before they left their house, little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears of even said the word "ears," he would get the spanking of his life when they came home. Little Johnny told his dad that he understood completely.

When Johnny looked into the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."

The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."

Little Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?," asked Johnny.

"Yes," the mother replied, "we are so thankful. The doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great," said Little Johnny, "'cuz he'd he shit out of luck if he needed glasses."

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Two college accounting majors go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment -- the reels, rods, the wading suits, the boat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.

The first day they go fishing they don't catch a thing. Same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day......It goes on like this until on the last day of their vacation, one of the collegians catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. The driver turns toward his passenger and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"

His friend replied, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more."

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My favorite phrase today is John McCain. N., this is no little Johnny. Def.: A rabid politician who can afford to be that way because he married a millionairess.