Tonto, Him Run Big, Fast

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked intgo a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a tall cowboy walked in and said, ""Who owns the big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do....Why?"

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and, soon, Silver was starting to feel a little better.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to get him well."

Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around Silver.

Not able to do anything except wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his beer. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stands again and claims, "I do. What's wrong with him this time?"

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, "Oh, nothing, but you left your Injun running."

+ + + + + + + +

An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily, a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny. The out-of-towner asked for help, and the farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched him to the man's car bumper.

Then he yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Benny didn't move.

Then the farmer yelled, "Come on, pull Ranger!" Still, Benny didn't move.

So he yelled really loud, "Now pull, Fred, pull hard." Benny just stood in place.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Okay, Benny, pull."

Benny pulled the car out of the ditch. The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, "Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

+ + + + + + + +

My favorite word today is rehearse. N., sing me a song of sixpence. Def.: A do-over trip to the cemetery.