So Feelgood Haines is telling me what he read in the "Oprah" magazine (which is about 3,000 pages and I bet Feelgood couldn't read all that in a month).Feelgood: "Hoss, this article I read in 'Oprah' is some punkins. It is all about how women is different from men, as if I didn't know already but I guess they got suckers who believe in this stuff."
Hoss: "Well, happy days to you, Feelgood. I knew you knew everything already."
Feelgood: "With pain, I am ignoring your smartass asscrack remarks. What it said was what you don't know. For instance, 'Men use about 7,000 words a day; women use about 20,000.'"
Hoss: "Sure, I knew that. The 7,000 words are 3,500 'mothers' and 3,500 'f--kers.'"
Feelgood: "You ass. Anyway, the 20,000 words women use have to do with babies and cuddling and diapers and assholes like you. Anyway, this article goes on to say: 'Men have on average ten to 100 times more testosterone than women.'"
Hoss: "I heard something about that. Do you suppose this has something to do with the 'morning after' pill?"
Feelgood: "Morning after? After what?"
Hoss: "Actually, I am damned if I know. It probably has to do with pickles, or ice cream."
Feelgood: "To hell with that book. Wanna go chase women?"
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My favorite word today is erection. N., what goes up must come down. Def.: More commonly known as a child's toy called "The Erection Set."
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