What It's Like to Be Like Old Cheese

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

Old age is when you still have something on the ball but you are too tired to bounce it.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

The nice part about living in a small town is, if I forget why I'm doing somebody else will tell me.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

I don't mind the rat race, but I could use a little more cheese.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes.

Age is immportant only if you're a cheese.

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she's having a baby.

Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out; he can be sedated with a few bites of chocolate cake.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

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My favorite word today is consciousness. N., awaken to me. Def.: What happens when you think you are beginning to understand everything.