When Out of the Blue....

(I am going off to visit Vicki and her father in law for the next six days, and thanks to the latest terrorist plot I won't be taking my laptop. So posting might be sporadic, or non-existent, for the next several days. Enjoy my b**groll.)

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A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Falullah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both of us took cover in the ditches along the road.

"I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein is a miserable, lowlife scumbag, and he yelled back that Senator Ted Kennedy is a good-for-nothing, fat, left-wing liberal drunk. So I said Osama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian. He retaliated by yelling, 'Oh, yeah? Well, so does Mrs. Clinton.'

"So, we were in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us."

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A freshman on his way to Podunk U. is enjoying his first airplane ride. But they had been aloft only a few minutes when he complained to the steward that his ears were popping.

The attendant smiled and gave the freshman some chewing gum, assuring him that many people experienced the same discomfort.

When they landed, the freshman thanked the steward, and then asked: "The chewing gum worked fine, but how do I get it out of my ears?"

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My favorite word today is life. N., may you have lots of them. Def.: Synonym for toilet paper, which goes faster the closer you get to the end of the roll.