Upsetting the Old Apple Cart

Little did Ol' Hoss know that he was not immune to love. But this is just slick. I am a happy men. Happiest in the universe, probably.

So, anyway, my girlfriend likes to travel, so I will be going along, and posting here will be intermittent. Here it is Sunday, and The Man Who Never Posts on Sunday will now post on Sunday, because I can't be here again until Thursday.

This is a picture of a bell my girlfriend owns. It's simply an acetelene tank all dolled up. But you should hear the sound. Voila. Its name? King Gong.

(P.S. My girlfriend is prettier than me, if you can imagine.)

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So this guy is traveling in the country and comes across a farmer out with his livestock. And he says to the farmer, "If I can tell you how many cows and calves you have, can I have a calf?" The farmer, knowing this is not possible, agrees.

The man says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

The farmer says, "That's right, so I guess you can have one of my calves."

He watches the young man select an animal and put it in the trunk of his car. Then he says to the young man, "Listen, if I can tell you what you do for a living, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks for a moment, then says, "Sure, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government," the farmer says.

"Wow," says the man. "That's correct. But how did you figure it out?"

"No guessing was required," the farmer says. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show how much smarter you are than me, and you don't know a thing about cows."

"Now, give me back my dog."

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My favorite word today is girlfriend. N., how sweet she is. Def.: Did you know I can still kiss pretty good?