An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery. He insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son."Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son," he said. "Do your best. Just remember that if something happens to me, your mother is going to come live with you and your wife."
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The older we get the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
When you are dissatisfied with life and long for your youth, remember Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
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Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old man says, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's okay. And what a coincidence -- I'm looking for my wife, too."
The first old guys says, "Well, maybe I can give you a hand. What does she look like?"
"Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big bust, and is wearing short shorts. By the way, what does your wife look like?"
"Never mind," he says. "Let's look for yours."
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My favorite word today is trouble. N., right here in River City. What happens at your wedding when your bride gives you the wrong finger.
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