Tisha Sharp is having b**g trouble, and is undergoing maintenance. For those of you who visit, don't give up. She will be back among us presently (I think). She's at http://www.tishasharp.com. Thankew kindly.
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Ever have one of those times when you say something -- and then wish you could have the words back while you crawl into a hole? Here are some nifties from my buddy, the Teacher Woman:"I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?'"
"I was at a golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the woman's type the pro had sold me. After browsing for awhile, I found a clerk, who asked if he could help me. I said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls.'"
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'"
"Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day he and I stopped at a Taco Bell for lunch between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny. I recalled that Danny had not gone potty for awhile. I said, 'Do you need to go potty?' He said, 'No.' But the smell continued to rise. I asked again, 'Danny, don't you need to go potty?' 'No!' he shouted. He pulled down his pants, bent over, spread his checks and said, 'See, it's just farts!'"
"What happens when you predict snow and don't get any? We had a female news anchor, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, who asked the co-anchor, 'So, Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?'"
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My favorite word today is statesman. N., I don't remember anything bad about him. Def.: A dead politician.
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