A public employee is in an accident, and is badly injured. On awakening, his best friend is there to tell him "I have good news and bad news."Friend: "First off, you are severely injured and you'll never be able to work again."
Public Employee: "Okay, what's the bad news?"
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I had/have this bad hip, for which I got a cortisone shot. No dice. So my Doc says he's going to give me an epidural, which is a shot in the lumbar region.
"What do you call that?" I inquired.
"A shot in the woods," he replied.
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So these two guys go way out in the woods (lumber region) camping. They have plenty of beer, but discover they have no opener.
Fred says to Chet: "You'll have to go back to town and get us an opener."
Chet: "No, I'm not going. As soon as I go you'll eat up all the food."
Fred: "No I won't. I'll wait till you get back."
So Chet leaves. After about 5 days, Fred is a bit hungry. So he opens up a little sack of lunch meat and takes a bite.
Chet, who is hiding behind a big boulder: "I knew it! I'm not going!"
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My favorite word today is mulct. N., a-slithery a-goo goo. Past tense of milk.
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