Look What Feelgood Got

Gee whillikers, I didn't know this: Feelgood Haines is a big shot in the northern Willamette Valley of Oregon. This is my buddy who used to dwell with me in the Olden Folks Home before we both escaped a couple months ago. So I asked him, "Look, Feelgood, you got a street named after you? You one of them rich dudes?"

Feelgood: "That street was indeed named after me. Ain't that a pistol?"

Ol' Hoss: "Excuse me, Feelgood, now that I think back on it, local history nuts say that street was named in 1860, long before you was a glimmer in your Daddy's eye. So I think you're funnin' me."

Feelgood: "That's right, Hoss, named in 1860 and named after me. Tomorrow I will be 146."

+ + + + + + + +

Sippy cups are not for chardonnay.

+ + + + + + + +

A farmer is out in his apple orchard with his hogs. He lifts a hog up to the tree where it can get an apple, then sets it down. Then he lifts another hog up so it can get an apple and sets it back down.

A passerby says, "Say, Farmer Friend, wouldn't it save time if you picked the apples and threw them to the hogs?"

Farmer: "What do hogs care about time?"

+ + + + + + + +

My favorite word today is bore. N., the Great I Am. Def.: A fellow who opens his mouth and puts his feats in. --Henry Ford.