Shriners Parade Handook: "Put on a Happy Fez"
"How to Succeed in Business Without Really Frying: Opening a Fat-Free Restaurant"
PETA guidebook: "Making Meats End"
A guide to crash-testing: "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dummies"
Bureau of Indian Affairs census: "How's Sioux in America"
"First Come, First Severed: A Practical Guide to Amputation"
Helicopter Flying manual: "The Way We Whirr"
Escort Service: "For Whom the Belle Toils"
USDA Inspector's Handbook: "There's More to This Than Eyes the Meat."
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Three women, two younger and one senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna.
Suddenly, there was a beeping sound. The youngest women pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. 'That was my pager," she said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
Moments later, a phone rang and the second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The older women felt very low tech, but it seemed like she needed to do something equally impressive. So she stepped out of the sauna and into the restroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.
Finally, the old woman said, "Well, will you look at that. I'm getting a Fax!"
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This has caught the sense of the weekend right smart.
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My favorite word is invisible. N., haven't I seen you before? Def.: The nurse brings in the patient, and the doctor says, "Tell him I can't see him."
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