The teacher took a deep breath and said, "What did you call it?"
"It's a frickin' elephant! It says so right on the picture!"
And so it does:
"African Elephant"
(And so another lad is hooked on phonics.)
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You're going to have a helluva time ordering pizza in 2010, judging by this.
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Q. Why do men become smarter during sex?
A. Because they are plugged into a genius.
Q. Why don't women blink during sex?
A. They don't have enough time.
Q. Why does it take a million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. They don't stop to ask directions.
Q. Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?
A. Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock.
Q. Why were men given bigger brains than dogs?
A. So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Q. How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?
A. Don't know. It has never happened.
Q. Why did God make men before women?
A. You need a rough draft before you make a final copy.
Q. Why did God put men on earth?
A. Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you...."
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My favorite word today is advice. N., this is really easy to get. Def.: When you tell your doctor you have ringing in your ears, his advice is, "Don't answer it."
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