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So this guy is out fishing and he catches a mermaid. She says, "Let me go and I will grant you a wish." He says, "Okay, I want you to triple my IQ." She says, "Right." And in a flash, he was a woman.
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Eeeeek!+ + + + +
O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me beautiful wife." And, with that, O'Reilly won the pub's prize for best toast of the night.
He goes home and says to his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for Best Toast of the Night." She says, "And what was it?" And he says, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
The next day, Mary runs into one of O'Reilly's buddies, who tells her about the prize. And she says, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."
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Do you remember when we had the pictures entitled "Cloning Gone Wrong"? Here's one I overlooked. Cute, huh? Better than a buttcrack picture, anyway.+ + + + + + + +
Simple Simon met a Pie Man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie Man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie Man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb ass."
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My favorite word today is profound. Adj., a Mensa, no doubt. Def.: Descriptive of how smart you become after having several drinks.
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