There Are a Lot of Holes in Space

I was thinking the other day of all the benefits to be obtained from the Space Shuttle. Well, no I wasn't, because I can't think of any.

Except this: I read a lot of b**gs written by women who think they're overweight. I would put their URLs on here but you don't want to click on 85 sites. (Okay, here's one, just because she's got a weight-loss chart on her b**g: Judy, my pal in Texas.)

The thing is, we could finally put the Shuttle to some decent use. See, up in space, everything is weightless. So, we give these "overweight" ladies a ride on the Shuttle where they become weightless. And they can say: "Hoo boy! I weigh nothing. Gimme a brownie."

Another thing: Give a man a 10-lb. fish and he can eat for (10 lbs., divided by 8 oz. per serving plus condiments, um...) several days. Teach a man to fish in the Shuttle and Whoa Nellie!! How do we know when he's got a bite?

Here's my plan: We send all you "overweight" women on the Shuttle, where you will be weightless and you will eat weightless food. When you come back to earth don't blame me if you look like the circus fat lady. You were light on your feet for awhile, right?

(Naturally, in the interest of Making My Pile, my weightless brownies will cost $1 per each.)

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My favorite word today is Google. N., remembering Smoky Stover and Barney Google. Def.: A device useful for finding all the sexy parts in "Canterbury Tales."