Scientists Say This Is 'Too Bad'

The Irish daughter had not been home for 5 years. Upon her return, her father swore at her: "Where have you been, you ingrate? You didn't write or call, not once."

The girl, crying, replied: "(sniff, sniff)...Dad, I became a prostitute."

"What??," says Dad. "Out of here, you harlot. You're a disgrace to your family. I never want to see you again."

"Okay, Dad. Would you please just give this deed for a luxury mansion to Mom, along with this savings certificate for $5 million? And give this Rolex to Rodney? And, for you, the new Merecedes convertible that's parked outside?"

Dad says, "Now hold on. What did you say you became?"

The girl replies, "(sniff, sniff) A prostitute."

"Oh lordy," says Dad. "You scared the bejesus out of me, girl! I thought you said 'a Protestant.' Come here and give your old man a hug."

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My favorite word today is bombast. N., can you hear me now? Def.: Talking loudly to the foreigners, hoping they will understand you better.