Two women friends had gone for a girls' night out. Later, incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee. So they stopped in the cemetery.One of them had nothing to wipe with, but she thought nothing of using her panties. The second was wearing expensive panties and didn't want to part with them. Luckily, she had crouched next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she used that.
The next day one of the women's husbands phoned the other and said, "These girls night out have got to stop. I'm starting to suspect the worst -- my wife came home with no panties."
"That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said....'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'"
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My favorite phrase today is what the hell? Adj., out damned spot. Def.: After scrubbing and scrubbing, he discovers the smudge on the window is on the other side.
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