So Melvin goes into the cutlery store and says, "Hi. What do you sell in here?"The counter guy, miffed, says, "Horse's ass."
Melvin: "And doing a damn good job of it, too. They all appear to be gone."
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From some of the sites posted by Miss Cellania:
"Selective protection: If Albert Einstein were here, I think he would agree with me. Didn't he once say, 'If an idea does not at first seem absurd, it is probably incorrect.'"
Menu at a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."
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From Born Fool:
"Does God allow dipping in Heaven?"
"You might be able to dip in Heaven, but you have to go to Hell to spit."
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From Crazed Mom:
"If the model looks bad in it, I know it will look bad on me.
"If the model looks good in it, I know it will look bad on me."
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My favorite word today is uncertainty. Adj., I'm not sure. Def.: If in doubt about life, eat the dessert first.
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