Way Up Yonder in Yoopee

To make a 6:45 a.m. flight to Minnehaha, I had to leave from Salem, Ore., on a bus at 3:45 a.m. I said to myself, "This is bullshit," so I went back home and went to bed.

No I didn't. And it was probably a good thing because everywhere I go I bring great levity/dourness. What I did was I flew from Portland to Minneapolis, waited around counting my toes, then flew from Minnehaha to Hancock, Mich., where I was met by my new buddy, Eugene (Bud) Avery. His wife died about a month ago, and I went to the Upper Peninula (Yoopee) of Michigan to cheer me up. (That picture is of Jan and Bud in happier times.)

This flying is pretty good stuff because it also involves a lot of pushing me around. Since I have lung disease and can't breathe all that well, I walk into a terminal and yell "Help me!" and pretty soon, when they see I am on the floor gasping for air, somebody does. They plop me down in a wheelchair or put me on a golf cart and then go about a mile and half to where I can find a plane to Hancock. No kidding: This Minnehaha airport is so huge it would put Chicago to shame.

So I get there and Bud and I start cheering each other up: He had beer, and I some Jack Daniels that his wife had left behind. Funny thing about that Jack Daniels: When Bud's wife had to quit smoking she said she was going to start drinking to make up for it. Thanks, Janet.

So Bud also showed me a letter Janet had written to the Internal Revenue Service. It said, more or less, that "we are sick and tired and crippled and we don't have much money so we're not going to file our taxes anymore....If you figure out that you owe us, please send it along."

Bud is the step-father of my b**g buddy Vicki Bennett, who joined the party on Friday. Vicki is a doll, a b**g whiz with the patience of Job. She also is now in charge of Bud's taxes.

Did you know that Lake Superior is pretty damn big? You look yonder at the horizon and can't see nuthin' but horizon. And waves ripple along the shore, so it makes like it's an ocean, which I guess it could be except it doesn't have any salt or sharks.

Some other things happened too. I'll think about that.

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My favorite word today is impotence. N., sorry about that. Def.: Nature's way of saying no hard feelings. (--Courtesy of Tan Lucy Pez.)