Las Vegas, Here I Come

Today is the day I go to Las Vegas for a mini-convention of b**ggers. Among others, I will be meeting Vicki; Kira and her fiance, Alex; Mandy and her pal, Paul, and Tom. All fine fettles.

The purpose of this is for me to teach them how to write us all to get drunk and doobied. Then, after that, I am going to Michigan to see Vicki and her husband, Rich, then I am going to Tennessee to see Poopie, and then to Texas to see Tisha and her husband, Walt, and their progeny. I will try to post. Maybe I won't. Surely I will. Possibly.

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In a Texas Air Control Tower:

Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911 -- You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R."

Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. Allah be praised."

Dallas ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 711 -- You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."

Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. Allah is great!"

Static....

Iran Air: "DALLAS ATC! DALLAS ATC!"

Dallas ATC: "Go ahead Iran Air 711?"

Iran Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY, GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS!!! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE!!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!!"

Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now, and tell Allah 'hey' for us, ya hear?"

(Moral: Don't mess with Texas.)

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My favorite word today is bumper. N., I never noticed this before. Def.: That rubber or plastic goodie found on the underside of your toilet seat.