Foiled Again and Foul of Mouth

Us Old People keep getting the shaft. My Original Screenplay, "Long Gone With the Wind and Rain" (see somewhere below) did not win an Oscar last night. From what I understand, it only got 33% of the vote. I think what happened was that my Synopsisosity to Chapter 5 was so good that it was entered as a separate nominee, and it drew off 21% of the vote.

My movie had big stars like Vivian Sleigh, Clark Kent Goble, Thomas Mitchell, Billy the Kid and Godzilla. It had big fires (if you count having all of South America going up in flames as big). And we volunteered to cut the legs off Demi Moore, playing the part of Vivian, to maintain historical accuracy.

I think it woulda been a shoe-in for Best Picture.

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Merle Hertz came out of the closet today, to the delight of all of us at the Old Folks' Home. But it took him 15 minutes to find the door.

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I think the reason everybody here thinks I'm rotten is because I am. But that's because all my life I've been surrounded by smutty language -- dirty, suggestive stuff. It just wore me down. Here's what I mean:

--City DUMP
--LOAD of clothes
--SHITike Creek, Oregon
--WHOREhouse Meadows, Oregon
--Don HO
--Squaw TIT, former name of Mt. Washington, Oregon
--INTERCOURSE, Pa.
--Oregon State BEAVERs
--Cecil HEAD, Salem, Or.
--JACK KANOFF, Redmond, Or.
--Church SEXton
--SCREWloose
--SHAG rug
--Shotgun shell WADding
--LAY's potato chips
--SUCKer
--"Thar She BLOWs"
--FUCKminster Fuller (oh, well)

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My next-door neighbor, Jillian Comeagain, imparted the secret to a long life: "Wake up every morning."

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On the internet I found a new game for the sports program we're developing for Fox TV (see yesterday's entry). It's called: "Alphabeticize the M&M's." This will be hard for some of us, so we'll allocate a 5-minute slot.