Let's Operate

Here in The Home for Old Crones and Dorks, we gather weekly to tell each other about our operations. Somebody is designated to tell his/her story to the group. This way we don't have to repeat the story over and over until we have bored everybody to death. There is enough death around here as it is. Today, it was my turn. Here is how it went:

Doctor Cutworm: "Well, Hoss, your prostate is bodaciously canceriferous, and it's going to have to be extracted."

Hoss: "Prostate?"

Cutworm: "It's that walnut-size dealie behind your babymaker. Makes jizz."

Hoss: "If you take out my jizz-maker what happens to my love center?"

Cutworm: "Well, you won't be able To Get It Up anymore, even if you Cialisize or Viagradate."

Hoss: "I guess that's okay. I'm not getting much action (zero) anyway. So what's next?"

Cutworm: "I need you to drop your drawers so's we can get a look at your wang. After we take out your prostitute we need to put a catheter in your weenie so your bladder will have a way of getting rid of your piss and vinegar. So drop 'em."

Hoss drops drawers.

Nurse Cratchit: "My God that's tiny. My clit is bigger than your wang. Wanna see it?"

Cutworm: "This presents a problem. We don't have any tubing that small. Maybe I can drill a hole into some 6-pound-test fishing line..."

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Then I woke up. When I was coming to, this is what I heard:

Cutworm: "My God that's huge. Nurse, we're going to need some supersize tubing for the catheter. I'd say something like 3/4-inch garden hose....."