Old People Get Hacked

You might think that here in the Land of the Arthritic and Rheumy, we are a bunch of kindly old codgers waiting for the Reaper, and joyfully welcoming visits from the grandkids. Wrong! We do not enjoy visits from snot-nosed knee biters. The little bastards carry around tons of germs, and their moms carry fetuses and no thanks. Yessir, we can get our hackles up.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because I have found on the Internet lots of web logs by people who are "ranting" about this and that -- Dan Rather, Paris Hilton, Buster Keaton and so forth. Well, see, in the 1940's nobody ranted. We "got hacked." As in, when somebody sipped out of your lemon milkshake you would say, "That hacks me off." Not only that, I don't see how somebody can rant but not also rave. And get ticked. Well, I want to join the crowd, so here are things I can't stand and that I'm going to rant and rave and express my hacked-offedness and ticked-offedness about in the days to come (probably not):

-- Dorks. (This is No. 1 on my list because a blogger friend of mine, Autumn at www.autumnville.com claims she copyrighted this word just yesterday -- a word I have been using for 50 years. If she likes it, I can hate it. So sue me.)
-- Rich people, poor people, immigrants, emigrants, children and dogs.
-- Fleas and the horse they rode in on.
-- Brown recluse and black widow spiders. Tarantulas get a pass.
-- The New York Yankees.
-- The New York Knicks.
-- Eveything associated with New York.
-- Centaurs.
-- People who won't legalize marijuana.
-- Don Ho. 'Ho's in general.
-- Boom boxes, black boxes, boxer shorts.
-- My next door neighbor.
-- Your next door neighbor.
-- Jim Nabors.
-- Jesus (Alou, not that other one).
-- Death.
-- Taxes.
-- Faxes.
-- UN, UFO, NASA, SEATO, NATO, ESP, ESPN, CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS, Alphabet Soup. IMLMAO.

Well, this is just a starter list (probably should add starter cars, starter homes and starter marriages). I really don't like much of anything. Now that I think of it, I'm working up a pretty good hate for hippopatumi.