When Couples Diverge

DEAR DIARY:

"Saturday night I thought he was acting weird. I was shopping with my friend all day long, so I thought he was upset that I was a bit late getting home. He didn't seem to have much to say; he was very quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong but he said 'Nothing.' I asked if he was upset about something, and he said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

"I told him I loved him. He simply smiled. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you too.' It seemed as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat around and watched TV. Finally I decided to go to bed, and about 10 minutes later he came to bed and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted.

"I was going to confront him about it, but he had fallen asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster."

HIS DIARY:

"Played a horrible game of golf today! Shot a 95 -- can't putt for crap.

"Got laid, though."

(This was laid on me by my buddy Whizzer.)

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My favorite word today is fakir. N., outsourced to India. Def.: You, when you pretend to like a work of art by a friend who knew you would like it when you don't.