A Non-Meme Meme?

I don't know what to call this. It was offered to me by Lisa and Tisha. Good friends of Ol' Hoss, so you know they is right pretty.

What you do is ask yourself a bunch of questions and then give the answers. Easy meat. And it gives me a chance to talk about myself, which is a terrific subject.

FIRST NAME? Lowell (ugh).
WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Lowell, Massachusetts. Middle name is Eugene, for Eugene, Oregon. Last name is Maudlin for drunk dipshit.
WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Hoo boy, probably sometime in March.
DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Nobody who can read likes my handwriting because they can't read it.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Where's the question about peanut butter?
KIDS? Threesome: Good, bad and indifferent.
IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I'm thinking...
DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Is "journal" a b**g? I got me one of those.
DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? You're doing a GREAT job here Hoss.
DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? No, and the ice cream they gave me is also gone.
WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Jump whom?
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Is s'mores a cereal?
DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I got these kind with Velcro. I haven't tied a shoe for 20 years.
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? It's relative. I can lift two pieces of paper, so I ain't no fairy weakling, I guess.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Is this the question about peanut butter?
SHOE SIZE? 10 1/2, if you've worn 'em. Otherwise, 10.
RED OR PINK: Nonsense. Orange.
WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I have developed a pot gut in the last six months. I am hoping it's cancer because I hate to diet.
WHOM DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Oh, boo. This almost makes me cry again. My wife.
WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue black.
LAST THING YOU ATE? Cherry cheesecake. They love me in the old folks' home.
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Myself think.
FAVORITE SMELL? After the rain.
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My chemist.
THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Boy howdy, I am a leg man. Do you know what has 2 arms, 2 wings, 3 heads, 3 bodies and 8 legs? A man on a horse holding a chicken.
DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON(S) WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Oh, they are way fine.
FAVORITE DRINK? Root Beer Bourbon and water B&B.
FAVORITE SPORT? Pro football, college basketball.
EYE COLOR? Blue-green-sludge.
FAVORITE FOOD? Oysters Abalone Vienna Sausage.
LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIE THEATRE? Hellzapoppin? I don't know.
HUGS OR KISSES? Followed by a shack job.
WHAT DID YOU LAST READ? "Jersey -- Witches, Ghosts and Traditions." No shit.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Picture of my grandson in basketball uniform.
WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? All-Star baseball. Tough luck, Nationals.
THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Map, anyone? Ensenada, Mexico, or Miami, Fla.
WHAT'S YOUR SPECIAL TALENT? I am groovy and scram gravy ain't wavy.

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My favorite word today is remembrance. N., let's see, how did that go? Def.: Recalling something that wasn't quite as good as you thought it was.