The Squire in Action

Feelgood Haines: "Who's that lady I see you squirin' around the place, Hoss?"

Hoss: "That's no lady. That's a b**gger."

Feelgood: "Looked like a woman to me. What was she doin' in your room? I know, I know! None of my business. But of course you wanna tell me."

Hoss: "Why would I want to tell you?"

Feelgood: "Nobody, not even you, could stand the rumors I'm gonna start otherwise. So, give, Hoss, what's the lowdown?"

Hoss: "The lady's name is Kathleen. She is from Iowa. She is pure as the undriven snow, so don't get your shorts all bunched up."

Feelgood: "Well, what was she doin' in your room?"

Hoss: "We was gonna dump..."

Feelgood: "Oh, I knew this would be good!"

Hoss: "...some material onto my computer. Then we planned to converge..."

Feelgood: "Right there in your room! You hardly know her, Hoss!"

Hoss: "...our systems for data protection."

Feelgood: "Oh."

Hoss: "Feelgood?"

Feelgood: "Yeah?"

Hoss: "Up yours."

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My favorite phrase today is Dutch Boy. Stir, stir, toil and trouble. Def.: A slat used to stir up paint which is then stored uselessly and eternally.