When Gross Is Not 144

A hefty woman goes into the bar, raises her arm -- revealing a huge patch of black hair -- and points at all the men therein assembled. "Who's gonna buy a lady a drink?" she demands.

She is ignored, except for one little old drunk guy down at the end of the bar. He tells the bartender, "Ah, hell, Joe, give the ballerina a drink."

So the bartender pours and the lady tosses it down in one gulp. She raises her arm again -- once more revealing a huge patch of black hair -- and points at all the drinkers and says, "Who's gonna buy a lady a drink?"

Nobody responds -- except for the little old drunk guy down at the end of the bar. "Sure, Joe, give the ballerina another drink."

Joe says, "You can do what you want with your money, old timer. But tell me, why do you call her a ballerina?"

"Anybody who can raise her leg that high has got to be a ballerina."

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St. Paul, Rufus and Ol' Hoss are out fishing when St. Paul says, "It would be nice to have a sandwich." So St. Paul gets up, walks across the water, buys some sandwiches and everybody is happy.

Except Rufus. "A beer sure would go good."

Hoss says, "I'll get it." And he walks across the water, buys a six-pack and returns.

Rufus says, "Boy that was good. I think we need another six-pack. I'll get it." He steps on the water and sinks to the bottom.

St. Paul says, "We should have told him about the stones."

And Hoss says, "What stones?"

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My favorite word today is cynic. N., a guy who doesn't believe in ballerinas. Def.: A true non-believer.