Some Things We Didn't Know About

Before I re-upped with my Scamp, I didn't know about having grandkids. I am such a fool.

Anyway, I have a granddaughter, who is 10, and a grandson, who is 8. The 10-year-old, named Savannah, plays soccer and rides horses. At her last soccer game she suddenly became very aggressive, and scored a goal. The teammates now call her "The Sazzinator."

This not her. This is me and the Scamp, watching the game. Later on, I got the hat because I hate sunshine and she is so nice to me.

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So Scamp and I are in Bend, in Central Oregon, tooling around here and there, when I spied this sign. Hoo boy, Mervin Sampels is my uncle, who owned a farm north of Bend, and where I lived for awhile after my folks rented it from him. It was about a mile out of town, and it bordered this road.

Today, it is practically city center. When I left town, in 1948, Bend had about 9,000 residents. Today is has over 70,000, and is among the fastest-growing places in the Newnited States.

It is the only place in America that has a Mervin Sampels Road. Pretty classy, you ask me.

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So the Lebanese sent Haifa Webbe, their bombshell of Lebanese music videos, off to negotiate with the Israelis. Much later, she returned, pregnant.

"What happened, Haifa?," implored one Hezbollah gunslinger.

"I thought," she replied, "to bring you another small hostage."

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My favorite phrase today is middle age. Adj., the new 40 going on 50. Def.: When you are convinced that you will feel better in a couple of weeks.