Oh the Things I Could Have Been

Yesterday, the Oldest Known Blogger (79-year-old Ancient Mom in my Geriatric Ward) published a recipe for potato latkes. Beings as I am surrounded by Old People here in The Old People's Home, I should go around and get recipes from them to share with you. I bet they got some dandies, like:

WILTED LETTUCE, by Myrtle Foodpush

Fry up 6 pounds of bacon
Wash up 2 bushels of lettuce
Pour the bacon grease over the lettuce
Crumble the bacon and spread it on top

Serves 24. Takes all day. (Myrtle said that as a farmer's wife she never cooked for less than 24 children and farmhands. "I don't know any little recipes," she said.)

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Awhile back I said that I had had 15 different jobs in my adult profesional persuasion. Here are some of the jobs I DIDN'T have:

-- Meter reader, tarot card reader
-- Catalyst, analyst, amethyst
-- Nay-sayer, sooth-sayer, egg layer
-- Pimp, pimple
-- Cock fighter, cock blower, clock watcher, cuckoo clock
-- Jockey, midget, dwarf, Tiny Tim, Lilliputian
-- Tyro, pyro
-- Carnival barker, seal barker, dog walker, fast talker
-- Pearl diver, muff diver
-- Specialist, speculum, spic
-- Haberdasher, slasher, masher, flasher, Lash Larue
-- Farmer, charmer, alarmer
-- Politician, academician, electrician, magician
-- Driller, killer (but I am vaniller)

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Because I know good writin' and readin' when I see it, I want y'all to go visit Esther Wilberforce-Packard here. Her stuff is odd, strange, weird and zany. Read several of her little pieces. And let a smile be your umbrella.

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Matey says:

Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.