Mr. Irrelevant Meets Mr. Irreverent

You are SO lucky you found this site. My name is Mr. Surfs-a-lot, because I ... well, you know, like, and so on. I calculate there are about 12 million b**gs. About 1/3 of these are politics, about 4/3 are porn, sixth/ninths are how to learn HTML, and 1/10 of 1 percent are Daddy blogs, so I don't read any of those. The other 100 I DO read, and I glean nuggets for you.

Which is short for: Look at all the stuff I stole.

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By now, most of you know I am irrelevant. Irregardless (yes, I know that), I also am irreverent, so of course I am going to Hell. See, in Gal. 6:7 it says, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked. Whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap." This means: If you tickle a funny bone, you can get some laughs.

So, over in Political Humor this guy is musing about what George Dubya said: "In the eyes of God, marriage is based between a man and a woman." This guy says he needs some advice about other elements of Big Ernie's laws:

"I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states that he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?"

"I know from reading Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?"

These questions are all in good humor. Mr. Surfs-a-lot is never offensive.

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My new buddy Peter down in Australia has some homemade emoticons that are really neat. Here are just a few:

(_!_)............A regular ass
(__!__).......A fat ass
(!)................A tight ass
(_e=mc2_)...A smart ass

You can see them all by clicking on the good old link, I think.

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Australians have all the fun. From my pal Ozguru:

"Paper clips are the larval stage of coat hangers." -- Mad Elaine.

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I take that back. There also is fun in the USA. Quotes from a research paper passed along by Kira are riotonious (a word meaning funnier than a riot). I dare you to read this piece and keep a straight face. For instance: "A more logical expiation for the light is what is called Ignis Fatuous, or fatal fire."

In the comments on this piece, you find a comment by Innanna telling of her student's report on Jason and the Gold Fleas.

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My favorite word today is artiste. N., it's all about the turnover. Def.: The sure-handed guy at the supermarket whose job is to make sure the bad side of the fruit and vegetables is underneath.