When Enza Took Over From Feelgood

(Some stories are better than others.)

I am stealing again. But it's for your own good. My buddy Miss Zoot sort of hid this story on her site. It is SO GOOD you need to know about it.

In 1998, Zoot's Mom had a roommate named Enza. They were both fanatic University of Tennessee football fans. Unexpectedly, Enza died right before a crucial Tennessee-Florida football game. Late in the game, with UT's season on the line, the Florida field goal kicker missed a chip shot that would have won the game for Florida.

Zoot's Mom screamed at her daughter: "Enza noogied the kicker! Enza noogied the kicker!!"

The University of Tennessee went on to claim the 1998 National Championship. Miss Zoot's conclusion: "If there is a God, He definitely put Enza in charge of NCAA football that year."

To me, Enza's "noogie" is a lot better than "the Shot Heard 'Round the World."

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By the by, Miss Zoot is 8 28/31 months "with child." Watch for the coming of the baby to be known as NikkiZ.

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The other day, Bonnie, the lady who graduated from the Michigan State University Ant Farm, wondered if Feelgood Haines might know how Geronimo got his name. Feelgood is the guy here in the Old Sinners' Home what knows all the history stuff.

Hoss: "Feelgood, you happen to know how Geronimo got his name?"

Feelgood: "Well, you got to think logical about it, Hoss."

Hoss: "Can't just spit it out, can you?"

Feelgood: "See, when they invented parachutes they needed to yell something on the way down that would tell them when to pull the ripcord, so they wouldn't be too early or too late. What they came up with at first was 'Don't go splat.'"

Hoss: "Splat?"

Feelgood: "Yeah. See, a lot of the parashooters was gettin' their riggin' caught on the rudder, and that was no good because when the plane landed these jumpers would go splat. So then somebody came up with supercalifragilisticexpealidocious. But that took a long time to say, and a lot of guys pulled the ripcord too late, and went splat."

Hoss: "Splat again, huh?"

Feelgood: "Yes. Then W.C. Fields, a noted drinker, came up with 'Jereboam,' and that proved to be just right. So ever after, when a guy jumped out of a plane with a parachute, he would yell 'Jereboam' before opening his 'chute."

Hoss: "I asked about Geronimo."

Feelgood: "Nah, that was some guy in Bill Cody's Wild West Show. What did you want to know about him?"

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My favorite word today is naturally. Adj., why me? Def.: When the airline pilot announces a scenic view is available, your seat is on the other side.