A Short Little Tiny Teeny Meme Thingie

Ol' Hoss was tagged by his new buddy Stacie to do a little meme: "Go into your archives, find your 23rd post, 5th sentence, and report what it is." Hoo boy, talk about wisdom for the ages: 23rd post, 5th sentence is

"And the Drying of the Cement."

Now, I didn't linger over there, that being so long ago, but I guess what was happening was that Merle Hertz and I were practicing this new Olympic event, where you see who can sit the longest waiting for cement to dry. When you live in an Old Folks' Home like Merle and me, you take your Olympic events as you find them.

Merle outlasted me, though, when he said: "You know, Hoss, I am going to scratch my name in that new cement. For posterity. And because I only did it once when I was a kid and my Dad whopped me with a razor strop." I said I ain't gonna be a party to scratching holes in no $2,000 concrete job and went back to my room to watch Bob Barker try to keep his teeth in when he said "Go down on me!," or whatever it is he says.

Later I went to see what Merle done, and this is what he put in the cement:

M*Y* *N*A*M*E*.

The gutless wonder. My guess is Merle's Dad is still alive and has still got a razor strop.

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"Yankees suck." Even though the Boston Red Sox are out of the baseball playoffs, they still despise the Yankees. I looked into this. The leading industry in Boston is The Yankee Suckage T-Shirt, Bumper Sticker and Refrigerator Magnet Co. (In second place is lottery tickets on how fat Ted Kennedy will get before he explodes.)

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What a husband who wants to keep living DOES NOT say to his pregnant wife:

"Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds."

Or,

"Got milk?"

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My favorite phrase today is tuning up. Vb., when sufficiently bored. Def.: Throwing a great number of stones into an abandoned well in an effort to change the echo from baritone to tenor.