Back When Nobody Spelt Good

I am continually amused by people, like the ones in Kansas, who keep trying to get the Bible in the classroom. The latest ploy is to suggest that the world is so complex it must have been put together by "intelligent design" (i.e. God, or Big Ernie). They are holding onto this idea, by damn, tighter than stink on shit.

Yeah, remind me to thank the guy who gave us mosquitoes, cobras, crocodiles, West Nile virus, Avian flu, AIDS, cow manure, lutefisk and cramps. But, of course, it weren't no "guy." Those early writers, like Mathew, Mark, Luke and John, were all dyslexic. So what they meant, and we all know this is true, is that "The Dog did it." Probably a pit bull.

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The only difference between a beach party and a wedding is after the wedding only one fella is guaranteed to get lucky.

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My favorite word today is sin. N., go and do it no more. Def.: When those bozos up north take the New Year's Day swim, they come out bearing false witness about how wonderful it was.