Food for Thought and Eats

The new National Food of Illinois is bison (buffalo, to New Yorkers). Says so right here in my local news- paper: "The owners of Bison Bluff Farms (Clifton and Kim Howell) hope the shaggy animals known for their lean, protein- rich meat will one day become a lucrative business."

This story also says there are more than 400 bison ranches nation-wide, with 40 of them in Illinois. Some 3,000 bison voted in Chicago's last election.

This got me to thinkin' about national foods elsewhere. Every place in the U.S. except in Illinois the turkey is the National Food. Angie told me it was grits; she could be right. But I think it's turkey, on accounta somebody discovered late last century that it's really good fried in deep fat, which makes it a lot more fatty than bison but who cares? Everybody is already fat; a little more won't hurt.

Also except: The National Food in Hawaii is the porker. Every holiday over there somebody plants a pig in the ground, slow-cooks it like in a crock pot and everybody luaus happily ever after.

The National Food of cannibals is the Long Pig, which is you and I. They say Long Pig tastes like chicken; I wouldn't know.

The National Food of Mexico is Taco Bell, with a side of pinata. The National Food of Canada is Labatt's.

The National Food of England is whatever isn't that bad stuff they served yesterday.

The National Food of France is some tiny portion of something or other with chocolate sauce dribbled around the edges of your plate, preceded, accompanied with, and followed by wine.

The National Food of China must be Panda, because now there ain't hardly any left. But what are left are pretty healthy eatin', because they are all free-range.

I don't know if there are any more countries. There might be.

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My favorite word of the day is diminished. Adj., what's that up ahead? Def.: Descriptive of the view through your windshield when it's raining and there's a large leaf pinned under your wiper which won't blow away even at 60 miles an hour.