Back When You and I Were Young

Don't this just make you hungry?

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Highway supervisors in Los Angeles are going with technology to solve the traffic problems. They are going to put sensors in the streets, and sensors in the cars. Then you just get in your car, say where you want to go, and -- bam! -- you're there, no problems. Sort of like a bus.

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While taxiing at London Gatwick, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going?! I told you to turn right on Charlie taxiway! Your turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but try to get it right."

Continuing her rage, she shouted hysterically: "God, you have screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out. You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect specific instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"

The ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind.

And then an unknown pilot broke the silence, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"

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My favorite word today is victim. N., poor baby. Def.: A person to whom shit happens.