Dr. Seuss and Other People

Y'all know my buddy Dennis, whose monicker is Follow That Star? He's an engineer turned hairdresser, and a Texan turned Coloradan, and a good guy turned into a good guy. Anyway, here he is at work.

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Y'all know Dr. Seuss? Here he is, with computer problems:

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distored by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.

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You know you're getting older when your back goes out more than you do.

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Here's one from my buddy Peskie:

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students. He stressed one rule: "The female dorm is off limits for male students, and the male dorm is off-limits for females. Anyone who breaks this rule will be fined $20. Anyone caught a second time will be fined $60. Third offense, $180."

A young man raises his hand: "How much for a season pass?"

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My favorite word today is champagne. N., that tickles my nose. Def.: A make-believe ache.