Things That Go Bump

This here pitcher was sent to me by Georgie Dubya, askin' whether I thot this might be a good catchem for Mexicans. I said I thot a burrito work better, esp. if it filled with chicken. Mexicans don't get a lot of chicken. Mosley beans. But I spose imgrants purty hongry, so fill 'em burrito with beans prolly work right smart.

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Over at Peter's Place you will find a cure for this. "This," of course, is the national disease known as Buttcrack, which I am personally campaigning against.

See, Peter has found a company that is making whiz-bang shorts for men that can't possibly be used to show Buttcrack, which is a relief to my mind. You trot right over there and see.

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Hey, Peter, you ever see this one? Ho ho har de har har. I got a million.

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A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says. "What's your secret for a long happy life."

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never exercise."

"My goodness," says she. "So how old are you?"

"Twenty-six," he says.

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My favorite word today is download. N., keep your computer hummin'. Def.: What you do in the bathroom.