From an insurance company report:"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident and damage my big end."
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From a church bulletin: Members of the "Little Mothers Club" will meet at 2 p.m. Wednesday. Anyone wishing to become a "Little Mother" should see the pastor.
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Aging is not for sissies.
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Everybody here in this Old Folks Home has a black book. Every name has an M.D. after it.
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Old trombonists never die. They just slide away.
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A tribute to me: I am the ball bearing of life.
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Today I am 75 and 238/365ths of the way toward my Salmon Day. That's when, after swimming upstream all my life, I kick the bucket.
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My favorite phrase today is Asia Minor. N., you Turkey, you. Def.: A young Oriental.
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