Good Grief! Hoss Had a Childhood?

I just got "tagged" by one of my best buddies. (No, not Bill Gates, the other one, Judy.) She said I am instructed to tell "five things you miss from your childhood."

Hoo boy, I seldom get invited to write sappy stuff. Not that I am bad at it. I can rival anybody when it comes to sappiness. (I am also good at cliches. "Snatching jaws from the defeat of victory" is one of my best. So is, "Frankly, madam, I don't give a darn.")

Okay, prepare to get all cloyed up over these tear-jerkers:

I miss killing a swallow with my slingshot. This is really sad. When I was about 10 I spent several weeks at the home of my grandparents. He was pastor of the church next door. A lot of violet-green swallows hung around the church, and I would try to wing them with stones from my homemade slingshot. One day I got a church window. I never got a swallow. Don't cry for me yet; there's worse to come.

I miss two feet of snow. I remember wading through about two feet of snow in Drake Park in Bend when I was about 10. I hated it. Now I live in a much milder climate. What I really miss is not having any snow to hate.

I miss gun fights. The 1930's were really good for people who liked to blast away at bank tellers and the like. "Pretty Boy" Floyd, "Baby Face" Nelson, John Dillinger, and Bonnie and Clyde were all shot to death in 1934. None of these people worked the Bend area, but that doesn't mean they're not missable.

I miss Fudgesicles. Well, that's not exactly true. I actually DON'T miss Fudgesicles. You can still get some at the supermarket. I guess what I miss is the nickel Mom would give me once a week to buy a Fudgesicle. Nobody gives me nickels anymore, which often gives me cause to go all weepy-eyed.

I miss Curtis Tank. The "tank" is what was a privately owned swimming pool in Bend. Mr. Curtis put tarpaper around the edges and when you got out of the pool and laid yourself out on that sun-heated tarpaper it was like you had gone to Heaven that felt like Mild Hell. Every afternoon Mr. Curtis would throw pennies into the pool and we could dive for 'em and buy a Walnetto or some jelly beans. Actually, I guess I miss penny candy more than I miss Mr. Curtis.

If you think of anything else in my childhood that I should be missing, please let me know so you can be roundly ignored. ("Roundly ignored" is probably my favorite cliche of all time, and that's why you are being blessed with it today.)

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My favorite word today is adversity. n., old Rhode Island Red. Def.: The part of the chicken gizzard that cannot be chewed.