Here is the second of the two Internet writers to visit Ol' Hoss lately. This is Vicki, who writes at OutsideIn over there in Michigan (in this photo, Vicki is the pretty one; usually I am the prettiest in these photos but I am outshined today). Vicki was accompanied by her husband, F.G., a peach of a prince. They showered Mr. and Mrs. Maudlin with gifts, for which we are mighty grateful.
Vicki is one of the bestest writers on the Internet, even better'n Ol' Hoss, if you can believe. Go see for yourself.
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Here in The Old Folks' Home, one of the main items of conversation is getting old, and how it pretty much sucks. We have taken a vote and decided how to know when you're getting past your prime:
--When you have time to stare at your reflection in the mirror and wonder what is the name of that little thing that hangs down in the back of your throat.*
--When you realize you haven't heard anybody talking in "Pig Latin" for over 50 years.**
--When you tell a joke you have just invented and nobody laughs.***
--When you make up words like "frapple" to describe that extra bulge in the buttocks.****
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From my buddy Oz down in Australia:
Do students of Zen Buddhism do Om-work?
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Here is the recruiting poster for Redneck Bubbas that the government wants to drop behind the lines of the Iraqi insurgents:
"It is always open season.
"There is no bag limit.
"They taste like chicken.
"They don't like country music, or Jesus.
"Some is queer.
"They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt."
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My favorite word today is protogenius. Vb., laugh a minute. Def.: The morning-after rumination that you are really not very funny while drunk.
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* Uvula.
** But everybody has a Shizolator and Oxford Slang Dictionary.
*** Jokes are better when they're funny.
**** The name of this is sub-gluteal flapple, which translates as "fat ass."
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