From the minutes of The Old Folks' Home Resident Council meeting:"Residents want a flag to be outside the building, and also one in the dinning (sic) room."
So here is the flag we are flying at The Old Depends Home.
Sadie Loveseat to Administrator: "What the hell is that?"
Administrator: "That is a flag. You requested we fly a flag, so we followed up."
Sadie: "That's a goddam flag of Cuba."
Administrator: "You didn't say you wanted an American flag. Cuban flags were on sale. So shut up."
+ + + + + + + +
Yesterday I mentioned something about my birthday, and somebody said when is it. Well here's the tragic tale:
86 (the number, so far, of the 15,878 things I am telling you about myself). I was born at 2 a.m. Oct. 2, 1930. My birthday is Oct. 1. See, all my life my Mom told me I was born on Oct. 2, so that's what I always used, and the date I got on my Social Security records. Howsomeever, the delivery doctor had been up all night deliverin' kids and he was still on October 1, mentally. So that's what he put on my birth certificate. I only found this out about 14 years ago, when I inherited the certificate. But it doesn't matter, because I can celebrate my birthday any day I want. Nobody said I couldn't.
It turns out that I am now 27,302 days old. I found this out not by doing the math but by asking at This Place. This is an interesting little site, which I got from Chris Cope. It tells you how many days, weeks or months of age you are, the day of the week on which you were born, your astrological sign and your "Life Path" number. It turns out that my Life Path number is 6, and all this time I thought it was 5. So I am requesting a life do-over.
87. In my junior and senior years of high school I had the male lead in our class plays. This is because I only weighed 129 pounds and couldn't make the football team. Since I was the only boy who couldn't make the football team I was drafted as an actor. This has worked out pretty good. Ever since then I have been pretending to know what I'm doing.
+ + + + + + + +
My favorite word today is shit! N., do-overs. Def.: After lengthy handshakes, hugs, kisses and goodbyes with all at the party, you leave the house only to discover you have left your purse behind.
No comments:
Post a Comment