How to Make a Root Beer Float

The headline of this piece has nothing to do with its content, as usual. I'm just checking to see if there is anybody in the world who does not know how to make a root beer float.

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This is "short-shrift Saturday," where I do my worst work because nobody comes to visit on Saturday because they're not at work. People only surf the Internet when they're at work.

Ho ho har de har har. One of the finest tongue-in-cheek stories of the year comes, of course, from Great Britain, where a newspaper is reporting on sales of women's thongs:

"Sales of thongs remain firm among women aged 25 and under....But demand from older women continues to sag."

The headline? "Bottom Falling Out of Thong Market."

For this I am indebted to my buddy Shane. The whole story is here.

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My buddy Laura recently axed a guy from her b**groll on account of he was excessively nasty about Chelsea Clinton. Excessively. Good for her.

This reminds me of something. I am going to axe from my Geriatric Ward anybody who has the temerity to demean pay toilets. There is a lot of money in pay toilets. So don't be pissing on pay toilets and you'll be okay in my book.

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My favorite word today is collection. N., cleaning up. Def.: The tiny bottles of shampoo and the cheap shower caps that you have brought home from motels and keep forgetting to use.