Songs You Ain't Hardly Heard Of

My buddy Dave Morris has tagged some of his pals to tell the world about "five songs you're currently digging hard." Since I got nothin' to do but belly up to these meme things, I'm just going to list some of my all-time favorites that I play on a kazoo. I can also whistle these, when the TV talent people ask. As Dave guessed, No. 1 on my Hit Parade is:

1. "Take an Old Cold 'Tater and Wait", Little Jimmy Dickens. I get so blubbery when I hear the chorus:

"Now 'taters never did look good
"With chicken on the plate,
"But I had to eat 'em just the same.
"That is why I look so bad, and have these puny ways,
"Because I always had to take an old cold 'tater and wait."

2. "Amazing Grace." The first line of this song is what gets me:

"Amazing grace, how sweet it is...."

Now I know good and damn well that the line is "how sweet the sound." But I was such a fan of Jackie Gleason that every time somebody would break into "Amazing Grace" I would think of Jackie saying, "How sweet it is!" And then my mind segues right into Jackie sayin' to Alice, "How would you like a trip to the moon?" After I am done breaking myself up, I apologize to God or whomever this song is about, and go about my business.

3. "Classical Gas", Mason Williams. This is an instrumental by a guy with Oregon connections. In 1968 Mason got two Grammys for "Classical Gas" AND an Emmy as the head comedy writer for the Smothers Brothers Show:

Tom: "Mom liked you best!"
Dick: "Lower your voice."
Tom: (Basso profundo) "Mom liked you best!"

This is the ONLY song I have stored in my computer, so I guess you know I like this song more than somewhat.

4. "A Man Called Hoss", Waylon Jennings. This ain't a song but the title of an album. If you have to know why I'm favorin' it, you has missed a lot of posts.

5. "Piano Man", Billy Joel. This is one of the most real non-cowboy songs ever. It tells about people wastin' their time in this bar. This includes the Piano Man himself, who is quite a good player:

"And the piano sounds like a carnival,
"And the microphone smells like a beer.
"And they sit in the bar and put bread in my jar
"And say, 'Man, what are you doin' here?'"

The reason I like this song is because I have known people with fine talent who never got that big break (there are several Internet writers of my acquaintance who are in this category). I am always, like "What are you doin' here?"

Anyway, the only way my 5 songs could be any better is if they included something about prison, pickups, gun racks, moonshine, Momma, rain, railroad tracks, smoke-filled bars, lonely women, little dogies and grits.

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My favorite word today is Godzilla. N., science as fiction. Def.: A motion picture too bad to watch but too interesting to sleep through.