I'm Not Here This Morning

I am not here today. I am posting a bunch of times over at the blogathon page of Wisconsin Chris, who has promised to post every half hour for 24 hours in a campaign to raise money for the Elton John Aids Foundation. So I will be at this place at mid-day Wisconsin time, and then again later on.

However, since you're here, you might as well get in on the latest pro-environment hobby, slug training. If I can get slugs to find their way through this salt maze I don't know what good it will be but it's gotta be good for something. For instance, this is a lot better than clubbing harp seal pups. And it sure beats training pigeons to shit on people who are downtown shopping, which is what was happening in this space yesterday.

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From my buddy Oz of Australia:

This Easterner is explaining to the Westerner how he finally achieved the life of his dream, owning a cattle ranch.

Easterner: "The hard part was coming up with a name for the ranch. We finally settled on 'Double R Lazy L Triple Horseshoe Bar-7 Lucky Diamond Ranch.'"
Westerner: "How many cattle you got?"
Easterner: "None of them survived the branding."

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My favorite word today is open. Adj., at the ready. Def.: The shape of a mouth waiting to spew its two-bits worth while somebody else is carrying on.