Tenting Tonight on the Old Campground

I remember going to Camp. And today, Camp is still a big deal for little kids. Even big kids. You got your basic skills camp, your swimming camp, your tennis camp, your basketball camp, church camp, Campfire camp, Girl Scout/Boy Scout camp.

Usually these camps have a cute name, like Builders, Pioneers, Hoopers, Boy-Meets-Girl-Under-Close-Supervision. Then all the kids learn the lingo where everything that's said is followed by "between the sheets" and all the campers laugh and laugh but it isn't that funny. ("We're going to play footsie ping-pong today, gang," says the counselor. "Between the sheets!" respond the campers. Like I said, it isn't funny.)

Ol' Hoss is thinking about developing a Camp for kids somewhere up in the Cascade Mountains to get a leg up on Making My Pile. If we get up there far enough we will be pretty safe from the pedophiles down here on the flatlands, so that's a plus that will appear prominently in my advertising campaign.

I am not sure at this point if Camp Hoss will need a theme. Bowling for Dollars comes to mind. If I had to choose one right now it would be to teach the kids how to cook, at which I am very good. See, what you do is you heat up a flat rock with some fire made by rubbin' some sticks together. You tear the center out of a piece of Wonder bread and put the bread on the rock. Then you crack an egg open and deposit it in the hole in the bread on the rock.

Fried egg! Listen, if I can teach a bunch of kids how to fry eggs, they can make their Momma and Poppa plenty happy on Mother's Day and Father's Day. Moms and Pops ought to pay me plenty to get fried egg in bed once a year.

+ + + + + + + +

My favorite phrase today is how nice. Adj., lying through your teeth. Def.: One of the stock phrases to be used when shown the child's latest feeble effort to draw anything.