A little old lady had worked in and around her family dairy farm since she was old enough to walk. When canned Carnation milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with "Carnation Milk is best of all..."
The LOL thought to herself: I know all about milk and dairy farms. I can do this!
She sent in her entry, and about a week later a big black limo drove up in front of her house. A man got out and said, "Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $1,000, even though we will not be able to use it."
This was her entry:+ + + + + + + +
I ambled down to the dining room for a cup of coffee, and Feelgood Haines calls me over to his table. Feelgood is our Eccentric Historian here in the Home for the Deranged. "You know, Hoss," he says, "this is the year when we're boasting on ol' Lewis & Clark, and I bet there's a lot of their history you ain't up on."
Hoss: "I think that's about to be cured."
Feelgood: "Well, this story is just too good for you to go to the grave without. Did you know Meriwether Lewis had a brother named Fairywether?"
Hoss: "That's too good to be true."
Feelgood: "Well, anyway, after readin' what his brother wrote about the Great Northwest, Fairywether made his way out here to clean up in the tuna industry. One thing that got to him, though, was that he was deathly afraid of the ocean. So he had to hire a bunch of Indians to do his harvesting."
Hoss: "For once, your story is making sense."
Feelgood: "Here's the best part: Fairywether needed a name for his product, so the Chief Indian -- who was the Indian Chief -- said, 'We'll name it after you. How does Chicken of the Sea grab you?'"
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My favorite phrase today is interim. Adj., jolly good show. Def.: What they do with 'arry when 'e dies in London.
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