I Will Always Love Me

Remember way back when I told you Ol' Hoss was pretty? And then I posted my picture and you found out I lied?

Well, now I can say I'm "precious," and it's no damn lie. I got it in writing.

My pal Ronni Bennett, a champion of us old people, did a thingie on her site where she asked her readers to choose b**ggers from her b**groll and say something nice about them -- "a warm bear hug to others." Well, this was just an open invitation to my buddies to show you how precious I am (look here at my childhood ceramic look-a-like):

Complimenter No. 1: "Who can possibly keep up with your energy and sharpness of mind?"

Hoss: "Does this require an answer?"

Complimenter No. 2: "Great wit, humor, and snark, which I love."

Hoss: "Yadda ta yadda ta yadda ta. What the hell is 'snark'? 'Precious' is where I'm at."

Complimenter No. 3: "Gene [Ol' Hoss] is the funniest, most creative writer in the blogosphere today..."

Hoss: [Insert Precious Moments picture here. ("Precious Moments" picture, right, showing Hoss With B**g)]

Complimenter No. 4: "What a wit! He is like a medicine to others, bringing laughter and joy with him always."

Hoss: "You know what's really funny? When your computer goes down on you." (Ho ho har de har har. I should have been nominated for "Best Sex B**g.")

Complimenter No. 5: "Beyond precious and totally unique, this is a must-see site."

Hoss: "Precious?" Don't ask for a cuddle. I don't want any of this to rub off.

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My favorite phrase today is Back in the saddle again. Adj., you're thinking Gene Autry, right? Def.: Director's order to the leading man for the fourth take of a scene in a porno film.