I Remember Mama (and Burma Shave)

I think I mentioned somewhere along the line that I might be going to a mini-convention of b**ggers in Las Vegas in April. Well, first things first: I need the money to pay my way. (This will be separate from my Reincartion Fund, which will see me wheelin' by the Southern Cross with several previous Popes in tow.) Well, here's how we're raising the dough:

Ol' Hoss's Traffic Cone Ads.

Listen, don't laugh. This is not funny. Just think of it. Sometimes you see a mile or more of those cones tellin' you not to drive in that lane because it's plumb wet of tar or concrete. Now, if you was Google, wouldn't you want to put your ads on those cones?

Like this here.
Well, you know right away that's a Burma Shave ad. But you can't put those along the Interstate highways nowadays (it's illegal, you bozo). And besides that, Burma isn't Burma anymore. It's Myanmar. How would you like to see a sign in your neighborhood that said:

"Henry the Eighth
"Sure Had Trouble
"Short-Term Wives
"Long-Term Stubble.
"Myanmar Shave."

I figure the highway contractors probably pay $10 each for those traffic cones. If I can sell wording on 'em for $15 apiece, I will be a zillionaire of the Bill Gates class, because, as you all know, all the highways are getting reconstructed all the time -- especially in areas where you travel.

"Don't Stick Your Elbow
"Out Too Far
"It Might Go Home
"In Another Car.
"Brought to You Courtesy of General Motors and Myanmar Shave."

Sorta grabs you right where you live, don't it?

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My favorite word today is Burma. N., You ever see that movie about the Burma Road? Def.: Big Mistake, Many Make, Rely on Horn, Instead of Brake.